Saturday, April 18, 2009


This week off from school has shown me just how much I am not enjoying my paying job right now: how much it takes away from raising my children, and how much it hinders me from getting a proper amount of rest (and we won't even talk about taking away all energy to exercise). I want to focus on my biological children, not my school children. I don't want to miss out on time with my entire family because I'm stuck indoors grading papers while they're off to Home Depot or down to Oma's to see the biddies. But, I don't want to be stuck with a huge mortgage when we build our house (we're shooting for this fall) either, and my salary goes to insurance and house.

Please understand: I know I'm blessed that God has given me the ability to teach via the Internet so that I can stay home with my children and to have a great job in this economy. Teaching has always been (and still is) my calling. I'm just increasingly more and more unhappy as I do my job because it eats away every spare moment I have during the day and the night. I rarely go to bed before midnight and many times over the last two months, I've seen 2 am on the clock....and Amelia always wakes up by 7:15 bright and shiny. Right now, I'm carrying a full-time course teaching load. I don't want no job; I just want less job.

I've already accepted my courses for the fall, but I'm getting either cold feet or lazy feet or just spring fever feet, not sure which. So, I really need my prayer warriors to hit the floor for me right now. Pray God will tell me exactly what He wants me to do this upcoming fall--specifically, whether He wants me to keep (or bow out of) two classes I've accepted already. Pray He'll send so many signs in so many different forms that I can't help but see them. I want to be hit squarely in the back of the head with the obviousness of what I should do so I don't have to wrestle with this any longer. I'll let you know when I know.

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