I Hate Potty Training

I hate potty training. That's redundant isn't it? I guess I should just say "potty training" and hear the "uggghhh" that comes from almost every mother's mouth as she nods in sad understanding. This is why many parents today often don't start until their children are 3 years old. It's just easier to change the diaper and go on than to deal with dirty underwear and accidents! I'll take the tantrums and the back-talk and the tears, but not the poo. Amelia and Emerson, I can deal with because they're babies, but Wyatt is another story.

I've read the books on "how to" potty train your child in one day, how to make potty training fun for your child (what a joke). I've tried the doll peeing idea--Wyatt was not interested. I've tried kid-level potty books, and he's memorized both the girl "Hannah" and the boy "Henry" versions. He'll pee in the potty, flush it, and repeat the line he memorized from the book: "Bye bye pee, bye bye poo, wave and cheer." But, then he goes right back and pees in his diaper.

Wyatt is 2 years and 3 months old. He understands the concept of the potty. He can keep a diaper dry for hours when he wants to. Today, he went all morning in one pair of "special" Thomas the Tank underwear. He had a good time peeing under the grapefruit tree and on his little potty. He was thrilled when he got a "big treat" for pooing in the potty. And then right before his afternoon nap, it happened.

Wyatt came inside to play with some matchbox cars while I stepped outside to sweep the walk, and that's the moment he decided to poo in his underwear. And since he didn't like it (and since I wasn't there), he took his poo-filled underwear off, stepped in it, and decided to pee a puddle on the floor while he was at it. I guess his logic was, "If I screw up, I might as well screw up all the way". Then, as if that wasn't enough, he proceeded to stomp poo all across my kitchen floor and rugs so that he could come to the back door to tell me, "I did it!"

When I walked in the house, a stranger passing by hearing my screams would have thought there was a dead person on my floor. After washing Wyatt down (I needed a firetruck hose) and getting him new clothes, I went to work scrubbing and cleaning my kitchen floor and rugs. Here's a tip: Lysol disinfectant stock is going to go through the roof because my house alone is going to be investing in a bottle a week at this rate, so if you're in the market, buy, buy, buy!

I know why parents send their kids to daycare! Daycare is potty training school! I would PAY for a potty training school at this very moment--I can see the brochure right now for the summer camp: "send your kid off for a week, and they'll come home fully trained." We have dog training school. I don't see why they can't have kid potty training school. I'd send all three of mine.