Round One was last week when Amelia ate an entire tomato. SCORE: Amelia: 1 Emerson: 0.
In Round Two, Amelia and Emerson demonstrate their new found talent of eating Cheerios by themselves! Amelia has perfected the pincher motion, so whatever she grabs, she eats! But then Emerson swoops in with a fist grab, trying to confuse his adversary by spilling the bowl's contents on the floor as he stuffs a few in his own mouth. It's eat or be eaten in this battle!
And the winner is....Emerson! If there's no Cheerios left in the bowl or on the floor, he'll just eat the bowl!
SCORE: Amelia: 1 Emerson: 1
And in the next round, mommy is trying and failing to eat supper! Two well-fed babies see food entering her mouth! Gasp! Mommy fakes left, goes right, stuffs corn cobs in four grubby little hands, and she scores! Silence reigns at the dinner table for the remainder of the meal.
SCORE: Amelia: 2, Emerson: 2, Mommy:100
The fighters are all exhausted, but there's still two rounds to go! Amelia crawls across the kitchen floor to Wyatt who then runs swiftly down the hall to find mommy diligently trying to put away two weeks worth of laundry. "'Melia took my sandwich!" Yes, you heard it right here folks! He just let her take it and then came to tattle! What? Where's the child who used to yank stuff away from her? He'd better change his game plan if he wants to win this battle. Amelia scores again, smirking as she shows off her stuffed mouth and fist full of peanut butter.
SCORE: Amelia: 3, Emerson: 2, Mommy: -50.
But in the last round, Wyatt comes from behind to show he's the champion of them all! "I smell poo poo....Oh 'Melia! You pooed in your underwear! 'Melia have no treats!" How could we forget? When you potty in your underware, you don't get any treats.
SCORE: Amelia: 3, Emerson: 2, Mommy: -50, Wyatt: 100
And there you have it, folks. If you want to win in the Food Wars, you have to be prepared to eat the bowl, confuse with corn cobs, snatch and stuff, and keep your underwear clean!
I was going to observe something clever about how nice it is to be past these years . . . but then I had a meal with my family of teen, preteen and adult male . . . and now I'm not so sure I'm past these years at all.
ReplyDeleteParenting is an Olympic workout every day. Looks like you take it pretty well in stride, despite what you may feel like by the end of the day!