Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Who am I?

Each time he approaches, I wonder which child is he this time? Is it the cuddly little angel who sits quietly in my lap as I read him yet another story? The one who puckers up for a kiss as he quietly says "I love you" and skips happily off to bed? The boy who just this week has started bringing me his baby blanket, crawling up & nestling in the crook of my arm like an infant as he requests, "Rock me like a baby. Sing"?

Or is this the boy who says "no" to everything and stamps his foot? The boy who laughs when I tell him to do anything? The boy who screams "my's!" and "I need it!" as he snatches another toy away from his sibling?

While his disparate actions may be confusing to me, Wyatt is just one annoyingly normal toddler trying to work out who he is, what his boundaries are, and how he fits into this big world.

Like Wyatt, the twins are also constantly shifting their personality of the moment. One day, Amelia is the one refusing to nap and can't do anything without mommy's arm around her. The next, Emerson is bawling through nap time and starts with the fussy "muhmuhmuh" as soon as I stand up. Such incredibly different creations to be twins. Yesterday, we even physically moved Emerson's crib into Wyatt's room because their sleep patterns are more alike than Amelia and Emerson's are.

And as I watch each of my three children move from one emotion or personality to another, trying on and discarding identities and attitudes in an effort to develop their own person, I am reminded of how complex we are and how amazing is our God who made us.

God could have created humans to be identical in form, thought, and personality. As much as I sometimes wish I could predict who my children will become next, I'm thankful God is so big that His imagination is limitless, His creation more magnificent than anything I could imagine or complete myself.

If I ever am guilty of believing I understand God perfectly, all I have to do is look at the miracle of my three children to realize I will never be able to wrap my mind around the enormous complexity of who God is.

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