Thursday, June 24, 2010

When I Finally Gave Up

If I ever met Lucy, I would have to repress a childhood instinct to slap the lying smirk off her face. Time and time again, I watched her promise she wouldn't yank the football away, only to see her do just that seconds before impact.

Maybe it's just me, but even though I knew the outcome, I always rooted for Charlie Brown. For some reason, I wanted him to finally get one chance, to see foot connect and propel the ball far into the distance.He never gave up.

As an adult, I'm pretty sure that's the lesson Charles Schultz intended. Yet, my grown-up self wants to say, "How dumb can you be!? She's never going to change! Give up! Get a different spotter!"Perhaps my changed attitude is the result of learning there are some times when quitting is the best choice, of learning that sometimes, winners do quit.

Two weeks ago, I flat gave up.I realized keeping up with my teaching load, constantly packing for the move, and cleaning up at the new house was making it impossible to "keep house" where we currently live. Besides, invisible monsters were sneaking in all throughout the day to rearrange everything not glued down or taped shut.

In a word, I was miserable. And so I gave in.

Sure, I kept washing dishes...but not necessarily putting them up. I kept washing clothes...but left them in piles on the back of the couch. I kept throwing the kids' toys in the right direction...but only when they got underfoot; otherwise I just left them alone.You wouldn't think God would be able to speak to me through this chaos. But the other night, he almost knocked me down with a revelation. I immediately stopped and wrote it on the side of a box. (What else do you do when your house is in such disarray there's no way you'll find paper in the first place, much less two days later when it's time to write the blog post?)

I realized I had a choice--keep up with where I'm living and not adequately prepare for the move to my new house OR let go of the unnecessary daily routines of keeping this house clean and focus on my moving preparations.

God showed me this is a lesson I need to learn for my life in general. I can focus on preparing for God's kingdom to come, focus on raising my children to love the Lord, focus on transforming my heart to be like His...or I can focus on all the cares of this life. Sure, I still have to live in this world, but if my eyes aren't focused on Jesus, I'll be miserable.

Even at my best, I cannot give my all to keeping up with two houses.

Photos: This is the kitchen at its worst: less than 12 hours before starting to MOVE OUT!!!!!!!


  1. Yay!!! It's MOVING DAY! Praying that all goes well today and that it's everything you hoped and prayed for. Love ya'll, Liza and Johnathan

  2. Oh, I do love Charlie Brown!!

    This post is speaking quite loudly to me, thank you very much.

    So true, so true!

    I'm so excited for you now that moving time is upon you. I'm praying for great grace for you--NOW, Lord. NOW, please! Jennifer, I remember moving into this house, pregnant with Sophie, in the middle of a work week with no one but the two girls to help. I remember the chaos surrounding us. NOT fun. Yet, I know it will all unfold for you in due time. Enjoy each moment and definitely forget about the cares of this world. Enjoy the blessing of your new home.

    I can't wait to come visit!

  3. Jennifer, hope all is going well with the move and transition. Praying for you...

  4. I always root for the underdog - that's why I love Charlie Brown...

    I love how God spoke to you in all that madness, and you were wise enough to write it down. Glory! You are an amazing woman, Jen. I can't wait to see pics of the new house. God's blessings on your moving project!