There have been a few miscommunications. Several do-overs. A boo-hoo meltdown or two. And a few times I have wanted to scream in a room that would echo back my irritation, stomp my foot like a toddler, and yell, "What were you thinking!?"
It seems silly now, but some days, I have really felt like the problem of the day was monumental and insurmountable. Others, I just wanted to escape the whirlwind of lists and say, "Stop. Sorry. I don't want to do this anymore. We'll start again in a couple of months. Need a vacation from all this."
Yet, overall, building our home has had more enjoyable moments than hair-ripping ones. And come this Friday, we are scheduled to start moving our life into those four walls.
As you can imagine, we've been too busy since February to really stop and smell any roses for more than a split second, but every now and then when I walk from room to room, a burst of happiness swells through me, drawing my mouth into a contented,uncontrollable smile.
What has surprised me the most, though, hasn't been the sheer number of decisions to be made; the time involved even with others doing most of the labor; or the oh so many trips to Lowe's and Home Depot such that Amelia has learned the store next door's name ("Ball!" she yells for the Target sign).
The difficulty has been dealing with people!
That may sound odd, but it's true!
What I've had to confront over the past four months is that demonstrating a Christian attitude does not come naturally to me when dealing with conflict. God has been teaching me that I must consciously, deliberately listen to the Holy Spirit within me, letting Him guide my attitude and choose my words...especially when the people I'm paying to do a job don't do it right, don't consult me first, or just talk down to me like it's not fixable and like I've totally lost my pea-brained female mind if I think otherwise.
I have always believed that "business isn't just business." But it's one thing to believe it...and quite another to live it when something didn't meet my vision for our home.
At one point along the way, I told my husband that even if a problem weren't fixed to my liking, I wanted this to be a blessed home, not one overshadowed by a curse of our wrongdoing. And I really meant it.
Mere nights ago, Doug and I leaned against the door frame of our newly painted kitchen, let out a deep sigh and said, "I think we're going to be happy here."
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
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Tonight, I pray for you. Yes, to be happy and blessed. May God's Spirit cover your home.
ReplyDeleteSo happy you're about to make the move.... Can't wait to hear about it here!