A dense fog settled over our house this past Saturday afternoon, blocking out any thoughts of a world beyond these four walls. It didn't matter whose political agenda was being pushed through the Senate. It didn't matter what was happening in the world economy. All I cared about was the thermometer in front of me that read 104.5.
My little girl was sick.
Always cooing, smiling, and dancing to music, she lay quietly on my chest, kicking her leg now and then to let me know she was still awake.
This was the valley of motherhood, the waiting, the praying that she would recover from whatever illness had invaded her small body.
After an "I think it's a virus; wait 48 hours" visit to the doctor, she slept almost 19 uninterrupted hours. Today, her fever subsided, and she has started to return to the active, smiling girl I know. But her continuing tummy troubles and signs of possible dehydration mean another doctor visit tomorrow...and a third night of me "sleeping" with one ear awake.
Contrast this scenario with the mountaintop experiences I've found at my church both Sunday night and tonight--we're having revival services. My blessed husband has kept the twins so I could soak in a spirit-filled service and listen, enraptured, to deep, hard-hitting sermons on Matthew 5. I have felt the presence of God.
Living in a house with a sick child is a lot like living in a valley covered by fog. I can't see anything beyond the next time I take a temperature or change an unhappy diaper. I can't see how I could possibly meet with God when my mind is focused on Amelia's health. I can't see the blessings from God waiting for me if only I'll look beyond my circumstances and climb the mountains beyond.
But my husband knows what's beyond the fog. And each night, he has encouraged a reluctant me to go.
Although I leave and return to the chaos that is my home--babies crying, chores left to be done, and an illness that still demands my attention--each night, my heart is being filled.
Moving from the valley to the mountain to the valley again. That's a lot of emotional traveling in 24 hours. But it's worth the trip to meet with God.
Matthew 5. A good place to go.
ReplyDeleteThis one ear and one eye open thing, I wonder when parents ever stop doing that. Amazing how He puts that into us to be so deeply woven into them.
Hoping you and the rest have finally had some rest by now.
Thanks Lyla--no rest for the weary. Both boys caught Amelia's virus--no fever, but tummy problem are a major deal in my house right now. Amelia is still cranky and STILL running a low fever. She's having a tough time kicking this one.
ReplyDeleteDear Jen,
ReplyDeleteI want to continue to encourage you, now more than ever, with all three of the young ones sick. Keep yourself healthy, okay? I love Matthew 5, and it was sweet of your hubby to man the fort while you went and had a much needed refilling.
Thanks too for your comments at my Beyond Boundaries post. They were so precious to me.
Hang in there, and never let go. My pastor's wife used to tell me when my children were ages 6 months, 2 and 4... "This too shall pass."
And now my children are ages 29, 26, and 24 and I'm asking, where did the years go?
Jennifer, Crown of Beauty's comment reminds me of when my guys were younger. They were the ear infection champions of the county, and had tonsils the size of golf balls. I was at the clinic so often (more than once a week at times) the girls there and I used to joke about just sending me to my regular room, they always had it reserved for me. Now, I go in for my annual "experience" and they hardly know who I am. She's right, it will pass.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, hang on tight.