Friday, February 27, 2009

Spiritual Spring Cleaning

God has really been on my case the past couple of weeks, poking in closets I had long ago sealed shut either because of the long amount of time that had passed or because of events I'd just assume not relive because of the emotional context. A while back, He put in my heart the need to ask someone's forgiveness for something that happened almost 14 years ago, but this past week has been just unbearable. When God tells me to do something, He starts keeping me up at night; it's in these wee hours of the morning that I ask God "Why? Why NOW? Do you know how long ago that was!?" And then I explain to God how I just can't do what He's asking--I don't know where the person is, no way of contacting that person other than through third parties I'd rather not involve, the person may not even want to speak to me--nope, can't do it. That wasn't the right answer. He didn't give up.

So, today I told God that if He was sure of this, I'd give it one try. I told Him I'd go to the last place I knew the person worked--and God, that was over three years ago, so that surely won't happen, but at least you'll know I tried, so maybe you'll give me credit for time served and ease up on me--and if you REALLY want me to ask that person's forgiveness, then you'll need to make sure that person is there because I'm not going to ask around...and I'm only making one pass through the store while I'm shopping, so if this is really, really, really what YOU are telling me to do, you've got to make it happen. And it did happen.

I don't know if this person needed to hear me ask for forgiveness for the hurt I had caused. I hope it makes a positive difference. I do know (and God knew) that I needed to ask for that forgiveness and to know there were no hard feelings lingering after all this time. A life without regrets, no. A life where I'm learning to seek reconciliation with those I've hurt along the way to learning how to live like Christ, yes. It was just good to see an old friend again. We both seem to be leading very happy, fulfilling lives. We both said we were happy to see the other and wished each other well. That closet is now open & cleaned out. Hopefully, God will give me a week of good rest before He starts to clean out another one...

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