Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Strongest of Cords

A little boy and his cat--February 2008.
Same boy, same cat--November 2009
Some mothers may fall in love with their babies at first sight. But I didn't. Three short years ago tonight, it was impossible for me to imagine how large a piece of my heart I was about to give away.

In the delivery room, I remember thinking my firstborn son, Wyatt, was beautiful. I remember swelling with happiness as the nurses lay his swollen, pink-faced, swaddled body in my arms for the first time. I remember feeling an irrational first-time mother's possessiveness when someone else held him along with an equally irrational desire to protect him against everyone and everything.

Later, I also remember thinking I might break him, he was so tiny...and that if he didn't stop crying for hours on end and start sleeping for more than two hours at a time, I might have a breakdown.

Those first few days and weeks, my heart did not long to be near him. Love, in the truest dictionary sense, just wasn't an emotion I felt for this squalling figure who demanded everything but was satisfied with nothing.

And yet, my love for him grew each time I held him, each trial we overcame, each milestone we passed--together...from his first words to the paragraphs he rattles off today. From the leaky diapers to the success of being potty trained. From crying each time I left him anywhere to bouncing into a familiar place and saying, "Bye mommy."

Like a tiny morning glory's seed sprouts in the moonlight and its wiry tendrils creep ever so slowly, winding around the fencepost. The plant grows too slow for the naked eye to observe until the entire fence row is seemingly overnight entangled in forever cords of green and brightly colored blossoms that burst open wide with the dawn of each new day.

What once was a single, delicate tendril, easily broken, is now a mass of strong vines unable to easily be separated from the fence.

That is my love for Wyatt.

I don't remember when I started loving him. I just know I do.

Thank you God for three years of being able to love this little boy. On this his third birthday, my prayer is for many more years of love and laughter to come and for him to learn to love my Jesus as I do.


  1. Happy birthday, Wyatt, and don't ever overlook this work your mom does on your cake...

  2. Beautiful. Your tribute AND your son.

    Love this: "entangled in forever cords"

    Isn't that the way this love is?? So true!

  3. Happy Birthday, Wyatt!

    Jennifer, I can think of no greater prayer for your precious one. Such a beautiful story of love as well.

    That cake is amazing! Dare I ask--did you make it? And I can't help but notice that amazing Nativity behind him. I love it! Is it Hallmark?

  4. I didn't realize until I read this just how talented you are in your writing! I passionately love that paragraph with the tender vine analogy. You rock, and Wyatt is precious! Love that second pic with the cat...

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  6. That is a wonderful tribute for your son's birthday. Happy Birthday Wyatt.

  7. I can't believe Wyatt is 3. He was just about two when I started reading your blog... and somehow, though we've never met, I can identify with the words you wrote on this post.

    My second born turned 27 last month, and on Dec 28, less than a week ago, he got married.

    I have continued to love him through the years.

    Being a mother is a great blessing and privilege. May the new year ahead of you bring you new experiences and fresh insights that will draw you closer to God's heart.