To the Lady of the House

So you think you've had a bad day. Yes, I heard you complain about the twins spooning the cat's litter onto the floor and into your husband's shoes, about your daughter who sat on the naughty bench for 30 minutes because she stubbornly refused to say "yes ma'am," and about your cat who shredded a couple places on the new sofa.

Let me put this as gently as possible: "So what!?!!"

You think I have it easy simply because I'm made of cotton and can go through a wash, rinse, and spin cycle?

Seriously? When's the last time you were almost drowned and then rotated at warp speed in the belly of that metal beast you call a washer? You should try it some time. I'm betting you'd toss more than a few cookies.

But back to me. How can I say this...oh yes, I know.

You have no idea.

Imagine, if you can, your children wanting to love you only when they are screaming, crying, or wailing at such a pitch that you want to put in ear plugs or go hide in that prayer closet of yours.

Would you really feel loved? Used, abused maybe.

It's never "Boo Boo, come read a book with us" or 'Boo Boo, why don't you share some of our carrots" or even, "Boo Boo, come sleep in my nice cozy bed."

No.

Instead, it's the same routine several times a day, starting with the horrific cries of "Boooooooo Booooooo" that I hear drawing nearer, muffled only by the insulated door between us. I know what's coming even before you fling open the freezer door and stuff me consolingly into a little grubby hand where I am instantly coated in tears and snot as they wipe me across their faces.

Ugh.

Sometimes I'm "loved" for minutes; most of the time, it's mere seconds before I'm tossed aside like a used Kleenex only to be shoved back into the Arctic when you discover me--muddy (like today when Emerson managed to sneak me outside), crunchy from so much snot, and definitely showing wear on my once soft, ice blue fur.

At least Amelia has learned to say "Night Night Boo Boo" when I'm exiled for a few more hours to the north pole.

Yeah...you keep on complaining about those children and their mischief-making ways. But remember, they say "I love you, mommy," they give you hugs and kisses, and they want to spend time with you 24-7.

As for me, I think you have it made.

Your much neglected and ever envious Boo Boo